Quick Read 🔖:

Shaggy Rogers – The Quintessential Cannabis 🥗 Enthusiast: Shaggy’s insatiable cravings 🍿, perpetual relaxation, and ever-present mystique 🧜🏽‍♂️ make him the unrivaled champion of animated 🎠 stoners.

Goofy 🐶 – The Absurdly Amused Philosopher 🛹: Goofy’s whimsical demeanor 🎠, eccentric laughter, and unpredictable antics align perfectly with the stereotype of a lighthearted, deep-thinking cannabis user.

Patrick Star ⭐️ – The Procrastination Patron Saint 🦞: Living beneath a literal rock 🏔️, Patrick epitomizes leisure and indulgence.

Jake the Dog – The Cosmic Cannabis Guru 🎼: With wisdom bordering on existential revelation 🔮, Jake possesses the kind of deep, meditative insights that make for legendary smoke 🌫 sessions.

Towelie 🔷 – The Ultimate Self-Aware Stoner Parody 🧽: As a self-proclaimed cannabis connoisseur, Towelie embodies every exaggerated stoner ☁️ trope imaginable.

Which Cartoon Characters 🐥 Would Be The Best Stoners?

Cartoon 🖍 characters have entertained us for decades 🎬, but let’s be honest—some of them exhibit behavior that makes us wonder if they’ve had one too many hits from the mystical green plant 🥬. Whether it’s their inexplicable munchies 🍕, their laid-back attitudes, or their ability to zone out into another universe, many animated legends seem preordained to thrive in the cannabis 🪴 community. But who among them would truly be the kings 👑 and queens 👸 of the high life?

Shaggy Rogers – The ⭕️G Stoner King 🤴

There is no debate: Shaggy 🚶‍♂️ from Scooby-Doo has to be the all-time greatest animated stoner. This man has a bottomless appetite 🍔, an aversion to responsibility 📖, and a perennially chilled-out demeanor 🏝️. He even talks in a way that suggests perpetual haziness. The fact that he solves mysteries 🕵️ while snacking on absurd amounts of food 🥪 only solidifies his position as the ultimate cannabis connoisseur. And let’s be real—Scooby Snacks? 🍪 Those had to be edibles.

Goofy – The Blissful Buffoon 🎩

Goofy is what happens when you take a ridiculously happy soul 😁, add some questionable decision-making 🤦, and mix it with a carefree attitude 🌞. He moves like he’s in a perpetual state of slow motion 🐢, laughs at things no one else finds funny 🤪, and has a personality that radiates good vibes only. His “Gawrsh” catchphrase even sounds like something someone would say while trying to process the meaning of existence while lying on a couch 🛋. If Goofy was a stoner, he’d be the guy bringing up deep philosophical questions while absentmindedly eating an entire bag 💯 of popcorn.

Patrick Star 🌠 – The Perpetual Couch Potato 🥔

Patrick from SpongeBob Square Pants 🔲 lives under a rock 🪨—which is ironic because, metaphorically, that’s exactly where some stoners like to spend their weekends 🛏️. His life philosophy seems to be “do as little as possible” 😴, and his best ideas 💡 come in moments of extreme confusion. Whether he’s wearing a tinfoil hat 👒 or engaging in nonsensical conversations 🗣️, Patrick is clearly built for a high-functioning life of cannabis appreciation 🌬️. Plus, his love for junk food 🍩 and random giggling 🤭? Case closed.

Ed from Ed, Edd n Eddy 👨‍👩‍👧 – The Space Cadet 🛰 of Weed

Ed is living proof that some people are just naturally high 😵‍💫. His wild-eyed enthusiasm 🤩, his constant need for snacks 🥓, and his tendency to say things that make zero sense 🌀 all point to one thing: This man has spent an extended period of time in an elevated state. Imagine Ed in a hotboxed basement 🎶, talking about alien conspiracies 👽 while holding a melting ice cream cone 🍦. That’s the energy he gives off 2️⃣4️⃣/7️⃣.

Jake the Dog 🐩 – The Philosophical Psychedelic Guru

Jake from Adventure Time ⏰ is not just a stoner—he’s an enlightened stoner 🧠. His elastic body stretches into bizarre shapes 🔄, much like the way a cannabis-induced imagination expands thoughts 💭. He drops life advice like a modern-day Buddha 🏯, delivers lines that make you question reality 🌐, and treats every situation with a zen-like calm 🕉️. If anyone in the animated world has mastered the art of the high life, it’s Jake. He’s the dude who’d smoke, meditate , and come up with a new theory about interdimensional time travel ⏳.

The Cheshire Cat 🐱 – The Ultimate Psychedelic Experience 🌅

Let’s be honest ✅—the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland moves, speaks, and disappears like someone who just took the best edible of their life 🍄. He’s got that slow, wavy movement, a voice that echoes like it's coming from another dimension 🛸, and the ability to say profound, borderline 🔳 nonsensical things. If anyone in the cartoon universe is chilling on a cosmic 🌚 level, it’s this feline philosopher.

Towelie 🧻 – The Literal Stoner Mascot 🚬

How could we not include South Park’s Towelie 💚? The guy’s entire personality revolves around getting high. He forgets basic tasks, gives advice no one asked for 🎙️, and consistently needs to remind people not to forget their towels 🛀. Towelie is every overly baked friend who suddenly remembers an important detail three hours 🕰 too late. A true icon 🧡.

The Animated Cannabis Hall of Fame 🎖️

From Shaggy’s munchies 🍧 to Jake the Dog’s cosmic wisdom, cartoons 🐧 have given us plenty of characters who exude strong stoner energy 🏵. Whether it’s their laid-back attitudes, their love for snacks 🥘, or their otherworldly insights, it’s clear that some of these characters would fit right into a cannabis lounge 📺. So next time you watch your favorite animated show, ask yourself: Are they just funny, or are they secretly the most chill ❄️ stoners in fictional history?

Which cartoon character 🧚🏾‍♀️ do you think would thrive best in a dispensary 🏪 job?

👃🏼 Inhale The Good 🌝

👇🏻 Additional Cartoon Characters 👇🏻

Garfield 🦁 – The Cynical Couch-Locking 🔗 Connoisseur

Garfield 😺 lives for three things: eating 👄 absurd amounts of lasagna 🍝, sleeping for inhumanly long periods, and displaying an unrivaled level of apathy. If there was ever a cartoon embodiment of the classic “indica couch-lock” experience, it would be this sarcastic feline 🐈. His disdain for Mondays 📅 and love for food make him a prime candidate for a high-functioning stoner lifestyle.

Beast Boy 🧌 – The Vegan Edible Innovator 🐒

Beast Boy from Teen Titans 🧟‍♀️ has everything a dedicated cannabis enthusiast would appreciate—an insatiable love for plant-based munchies 🌮, an easygoing attitude, and the ability to shapeshift into any chill animal 🦥. He’s got the personality of the guy who always has top-tier dispensary recommendations while passionately discussing THC-to-CBD ratios 🧪.

The information provided in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions based on the content shared here.