News Highlights 🎤:

• A humor article 🀄 published April 20, 2023, on MuddyUm (a Medium humor publication) by Lon Shapiro. It recounts a tongue 👅-in-cheek, stoned journey through Narnia-inspired edibles—going deep into a playful, baked-fueled fantasy 🧜 experience. hightimes.com

• A deep-dive from November 29, 2016, exploring a conspiracy that the famously civilized Turkish Delight in The Lion 🦁, the Witch 🧌 and the Wardrobe was secretly “hash-laced 🎋” allbud.com

Quick Read 📓:

🚪 Psychoactive Portals: The wardrobe in The Chronicles of Narnia is reinterpreted as a psychedelic threshold, merging cannabis-induced perceptual distortion with allegorical world-building 🌎.

🚪 THC as Literary Catalyst: Tetrahydrocannabinol is explored as a transformative narrative device, reframing mythopoeic structures through altered cognition and intensified symbolic resonance 🌜.

🚪 Closets as Consciousness Devices: A comparative analysis of wardrobe typologies reveals how architectural enclosures operate as metaphysical engines 🚂 for strain-specific psychological experiences.

🚪 Entourage vs. Isolationism: The White Witch becomes a metaphor for CBD-only puritanism, while Aslan 🥡 champions terpene-rich, full-spectrum cannabis activism.

🚪 Mythopoetic Highs: Narnia is presented as a psychotropic allegory, inviting readers to reevaluate classical fantasy through the lens 👓 of cannabis-influenced semiotics and sensory expansion.

The Chronicles of Narnia 🐅 (but Everyone’s Super Baked)

In the pantheon of literary allegories, few doorways ⛩️ are as iconic as the one C.S. Lewis placed inside a spare room in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. A modest wardrobe, with coats 🧥 and cedar panels, served not merely as furniture but as a metaphysical passageway 🌌 into the mythopoetic realm of Narnia. But what if—just what if—everyone who stumbled through it was outrageously stoned?

We will interrogate this altered proposition with sobriety and wit 👾. By lacing this Victorian Christian allegory with a resinous haze of modern cannabis culture, we’re not merely trivializing its theology—we are reframing 🔳 it.

Part ☝🏼: The High Imagination—Tetrahydrocannabinol as Literary Device 💽

To explore a baked 🌚 version of Narnia is to acknowledge the psychotropic potential of liminal space. THC, after all, is not just a high—it is an epistemological 🧪 shift. It disrupts normative cognition, delays linear time perception, and enacts a temporary metaphysical defamiliarization of the known world. Sound 📣 familiar?

Much like Lucy stumbling past the fur coats into fir trees 🌲 and snow, the THC-saturated brain constructs hybrid mythologies—blending personal memory, sensory distortion, and narrative elasticity 〽️. Add a little sativa into the mix, and suddenly that talking beaver 🦫 isn't just charming—he's reciting Hegel.

Lewis's portal 🛤️ is already psychedelic. The wardrobe is a threshold, a stoner’s dream interface between repression and revelation. The fantastical characters—fauns 🐐, ice witches, noble lions—are Jungian projections as easily explained by cannabinoids as by Christian symbolism.

Part ✌️: Closet Architecture as Trip 🍄 Catalyst

Let’s now pivot toward the furniture 🪑 itself, the architectural metaphors that precede transformation. As cannabis alters perception, so too does the closet or wardrobe act as a transitional structure 🚸. These are spaces we enter while notintending to emerge the same.

Every wardrobe is a pharmacological metaphor. What you open reflects the strain of reality you choose. The stoner-Narnian is not merely crossing space, but recalibrating ontology. Your weed matters. Your wardrobe matters. Your willingness to open the wrong door and love what walks out—matters most.

Part 3️⃣: Aslan 🥢 on Edibles—Rewriting Power in a Baked Realm

Now for the lion in the room. Aslan, in standard canon, is a majestic Christ figure ✝️—sacrificial, omniscient, and sovereign. But in our elevated retelling, he’s a wise but occasionally zonked druid-lion, wearing hemp necklaces 📿 and giving impossibly profound advice between bites of enchanted gummies.

Instead of roaring thunderous 🌩️ metaphors, he mumbles:

“Reality is…a snow ☃️ globe filled with fractals, Lucy. Fight evil, but also… eat more persimmons.”

The stoned Aslan is still divine 🈂️, but now he's microdosing the Holy Spirit. He’s not less powerful—he’s more accessible, more patient, less wrathful 🔥. The wardrobe didn’t change him. The viewer’s cannabinoid saturation decontextualized him.

Part 4️⃣: The Witch 🧝‍♂️, the Wardrobe, and the Cannabinoid Hierarchy

The White Witch 🧖🏼‍♀️ is still evil—but perhaps she now represents CBD isolationism. Think about it. Her frozen dominion is control without chaos, tranquility without depth. She offers Edmund a Turkish Delight 🍬—but what if it’s a CBD-infused, low-THC confection that blunts desire rather than feeds it?

In a stoner-Narnia, the Witch’s mistake isn’t cruelty 🔪—it’s misunderstanding the entourage effect. Her world is snowed in because she outlawed THC. Meanwhile, the rebels in Aslan’s army are running terpene trials in secret forest dens 🏞️. They're conducting full-spectrum resistance.

What emerges is not just a battle between good 😇 and evil 👺, but between isolate vs. full-spectrum, regulation 🆚 reverie, frozen ⛄ puritanism 🆚 cannabis-informed complexity.

Part 🤚🏻: Lucy’s Journey, Reimagined 💭

Lucy’s arc 🛳 is perhaps the most compelling under cannabis reinterpretation. Initially disbelieved, she is the archetypal stoner prophet: she has seen something magical, but is gaslit into denial 🚫. Her brothers and sisters dismiss her until they too blaze—uh, walk—through the wardrobe.

Lucy, in this lens, becomes a patron saint of non-linear time ⏰ and alternative realities. She teaches us that the closet may be old, but the magic inside is always young—and always unexpected 🧒.

Why We Reimagine 🙈

This is literary kaleidoscopy, a reflection 🃏 of how altered consciousness can reframe even the most sacred of texts. Baked Narnia is not an act of mockery but of mythic elasticity. When we take classic stories 🎎, filter them through a cannabinoid lens, and walk back out again—slightly dizzy, profoundly delighted—we’re engaging in a sacred rite of human creativity 🎨.

Perhaps we do not need new worlds 👽. Just new ways of entering old ones. Sometimes the path isn't just through the wardrobe—it’s through the weed jar 🍵 sitting quietly beside it.

If you could step 👣 into any closet in literature—while totally blitzed 😤—where would you go 🛸?

🎺 Do More 🏄‍♂️

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