News Highlights 🟨:

• Funeral ☠️ in Germany 🇩🇪 Ends on a High Note: In an unusual incident, mourners at a funeral in eastern Germany were inadvertently served hash 🎄cake, leading to unexpected intoxication. The mix-up occurred when a restaurant employee mistakenly served the cake 👨🏻‍🍳, resulting in several attendees experiencing symptoms of cannabis ❇️ consumption. The Guardian

• Reba McEntire's Accidental Gummy 👄 Experience: Country singer Reba McEntire recounted an amusing story 📰 where she and her mother accidentally consumed a 2️⃣5️⃣mg gummy, leading to vivid hallucinations. This incident, though not at a funeral, highlights how easily one can unintentionally consume cannabis-infused 🧃 products. People

Quick Read 🗒:

Unintended High at a Solemn Occasion 🔔: A humorous recounting of accidentally consuming cannabis-infused 🦠 brownies before attending a funeral, resulting in an unintentional high during the solemn ceremony 🏟.

The Deceptive Edible Incident 🍰: An unlabeled plate of brownies 🟫 led to an unexpected psychedelic experience, highlighting ⚠️ the importance of distinguishing between regular desserts 🍩 and potent edibles.

Realization and Internal Chaos 🥊: The effects of the edibles 🥣 began to take hold during the eulogy ✝️, causing vivid sensory perceptions and an uncontrollable urge to laugh 😹 amidst mourning relatives.

Desperate Composure and Escape 🛫: Struggling to maintain decorum, the narrator 👨🏻 stealthily exited the funeral to avoid 🙈 an uncontrollable laughing fit, narrowly preserving familial 👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 respect.

A Lesson 👩🏼‍🏫 in Caution and Irony: The narrative concludes with a reflective yet humorous lesson 🎓 on always verifying the contents of brownies, woven 🧤 with the irony that the deceased prankster uncle would have found the situation 🎑 hysterical.

How Did I End Up High at a Funeral? ⚰️

Funerals 💀 are solemn affairs, steeped in tradition and reflective introspection. They’re spaces where memories are shared, tears 💧 are shed, and everyone tries to maintain a decorum of respect 💛. But no one prepares you for the bizarre paradox of trying to keep it together when you realize you're high at a funeral. How did I end up here?

The Unexpected Passing 🖤

It was my great-uncle Roger 👴. A man of robust humor, a notorious prankster, and a lover of life, he was the kind of guy who'd wear a neon Hawaiian 🏖 shirt to his own wake if given the option 🧥. When the news of his passing reached me, the initial wave of sadness was tempered by fond memories 🎞️. I remembered his belly-shaking laughter, his knack for inappropriate jokes, and his deep appreciation for mischief 😈.

Uncle Roger 🏝 would’ve found this whole situation hilarious 😂. A truth that gave me some solace, even as I stood there, trying not to giggle like a maniac 🤪.

The Scene of the Crime: Unlabeled Edibles 🍪

The day started innocuously enough 🌅. I had traveled to the town where Uncle Roger grew up 🏘️. Reunions with extended family members I hadn't seen in years meant awkward small talk, shared grief, and an unspoken competition over who was the most devastated 😥.

I was starving 🍽️. The hotel breakfast had been a disappointment, and by the time I arrived at my cousin Dave’s house, I was ravenous 🦁. That’s when I saw them: brownies 🧁. They were stacked on a plate, covered in cling wrap, and seemed to glow with the promise of fudgy satisfaction ✨.

No label 🔖. No warning. Just innocent-looking chocolate squares 🍫. I grabbed one, then another, shoveling them down before anyone could see my gluttony 🤤. They were delicious—rich, dense, with a slightly herbal 🪴 aftertaste. “Must be some artisanal nonsense,” I thought. How wrong I was 🚫.

A Slow 🐢 Realization

The funeral was at a small church 🕌—a charming, old building with stained glass windows and wooden pews that creaked under the weight of mourners ⛪. I sat somewhere in the middle, trying to blend into the sea of black 🕷️ attire.

Then it hit me. Like a freight train with no brakes 🚂.

It started as a tingling 〽️ sensation at the back of my neck. My vision grew sharper, the colors around me more vivid 🧑‍🎤. I could see every wrinkle on the minister's face as he recited passages with somber conviction. The echoes 🔊 of his voice seemed to dance around the room. And then... the giggles started.

I bit my lip 💋, trying to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside me. My heart was racing, and my mind was spiraling into a chaotic loop of panic and amusement 🌀.

The Awkward Consequences 🤡

A cousin leaned over, whispering, “Are you okay?” 🫣

I nodded, perhaps a bit too vigorously, as my eyes 👀 darted around the room like a paranoid raccoon 🦝. The solemn faces, the sound of sniffles, the organ playing melodramatic tunes—all of it was too much 🎶.2w I wanted to laugh, cry, and run away simultaneously 🏃.

Then it dawned on me. Those brownies. Those delicious, seemingly innocuous brownies were not regular desserts 🎂. They were edibles. Potent, mischievous, giggle-inducing edibles 🌿.

And I was high. At a funeral. In front of my entire extended family 👣.

The Struggle to Stay Composed 😶‍🌫️

The eulogy began, delivered by Aunt Linda, known for her emotional speeches 👂🏾 and love of theatrics 🎭. She was barely a minute in before the waterworks began, her voice cracking dramatically as she described Uncle Roger’s generous spirit 💨.

The sincerity was touching... but the melodrama was unintentionally hilarious.🤦‍♀️. I bit my cheek, attempting to anchor ⚓ myself in reality. “Don’t laugh. Do. Not. Laugh.” I repeated in my head like a mantra 🧘.

My mind 🧠, however, was already betraying me, replaying the last Thanksgiving 🐔 when Uncle Roger hilariously mocked Aunt Linda’s soap-opera-worthy crying 😭. The irony was too rich 💎. My shoulders shook with suppressed laughter.

Escape 🚪 and Reflection

The laughter was coming. I could feel it building 🏢, and I knew if I didn’t leave, it would erupt like a volcano 🌋 of inappropriate hysteria.

I made my escape 🏃🏾‍♀️, shuffling out of the pew as quietly as possible, tripping over a stranger’s foot in the process. My apologetic whisper 🗯 sounded louder than a foghorn in my ears 📢.

Out in the cold ☃️ air, I took deep, sobering breaths, my mind slowly clawing its way back to normalcy. I replayed ▶️ the events, the brownie consumption, the gradual realization, the struggle to maintain composure 😮‍💨. And then, I laughed. Really laughed. Uncle Roger would’ve howled 🐺 at the absurdity. He’d have been proud.

The Aftermath: A Lesson in Caution 🎓

Turns out, the brownies were courtesy of Cousin Dave’s new hobby: experimenting 🌡 with cannabis edibles 🍴. He had no idea they would end up at the funeral, courtesy of his clueless roommate. 🤦‍♂️

To his credit, Dave was mortified 👹 when he found out. But his guilt couldn’t erase the memory of my mortifying experience. Or the realization that Uncle Roger 👨🏻‍💼 would’ve found the whole debacle hysterical.

I survived the rest of the day 🔆, albeit a bit paranoid and overly emotional during the slideshow tribute 🎥. As I sat there, reflecting on Uncle Roger’s legacy, I felt a wave of nostalgia 🌊. He’d lived life fully, laughed often, and would’ve loved this ridiculous story.

If there’s one takeaway from this absurd experience, it’s this: always ask about the brownies 👨🏾‍🍳. Always.

Would Uncle Roger have laughed, or was this the one joke that went a step 👟 too far?

💞 Dream Big 🦕

The information provided in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions based on the content shared here.